Week 66 - iPhone

Short post this week (for those of you keeping track - this would have been Nov. 17-23, only 3 months behind!) as I have pretty much had my head in the lab. My wife was gone for the first half of the week, still in Kentucky at the livestock expo with Hannah, and I figured there was no reason to be at home by myself when I could be getting things done in the lab. Besides, it's pretty lonely at home. So lonely, in fact, that I could hear mice running through the floor - it would seem a great invasion has begun as it gets much colder in the evenings.

About a year ago, I had slated a post to focus on my transition to the new world of smartphone technology. But I never could quite get all the pieces to fit together at once to where I felt that it was worth the read. And if it's not worth the read for me, it certainly wouldn't have been for you. So I postponed over and over again, but this week's biggest happening was my interaction with Apple at the "genius bar" so the time to talk about my phone has now arrived. Let me preface this by saying that Apple's entire operation seems to be hinged on people being ignorant about technology. They theme towards children, elderly, and then cater to those in the middle with gimmicks to make them feel really smart, artsy or efficient. I am none of these, but am instead a product of a cross-over generation that remembers a Macintosh, how to use an 8'' floppy disk, what the "flip-side" really means, the early days of music piracy (when we recorded songs from the radio on a cassette tape, and dubbed out the DJ). I am comfortable configuring my own computer, communicating in command prompt to find internet and manipulating file types. Needless to say, the "genius bar" is really just people who know how to follow instructions and can navigate the quirks of an Apple product.

So when I first got my phone, the learning curve was pretty fast. Being familiar with guessing functions, I never read instructions and probably don't use half of the imbedded applications on my iPhone because I didn't have a need for them. My purpose to a smartphone was to have email, internet access and a mobile camera. Obviously, the camera has paid dividends even for simple things like this blog. But at work, I can shoot pictures of things that I need a repairman for, text them to our guy and then he can talk me through how to trouble-shoot before he ever has to step on the premises. This saves both of us time and money. For example, this week was the motor/fan combination for coolant circulation on the freeze dryer. Yes, another damn thing wrong with the fricking dryer. It's starting to remind me of the "Office Space" printer, and I really want to go all mob on it. But by being able to use a picture to communicate, I can at least speak the same language as the guy on the other end. And the picture quality is much better than the old 1.3 MP cell phone cameras.

So I really loved my iPhone 4s, even though I was indifferent about Siri. She is fine and all, but really not necessary, and if I am out of decent service, she can't access the web. Unfortunately, she is not nearly so helpful when she has poor service. It gets to the point where she will even struggle to understand what I am saying. But the big advantage of the 4s over the 4 (free when I got my 4s) was the ability to use international bandwidth for calls. Will I ever use it? Maybe, but maybe not. It was a chance I didn't see the need to take given the other upgrades that came with the 4s. Oppositely, the high price of the 5 was completely unnecessary for increased screen space, and I had similar feelings about memory upgrades. You see, Apple is making a killing on convincing people that the stuff they just bought isn't cool enough, and this race for the newest tech is driving down prices on the old stuff for folks like me. I plan to never buy a brand-new iPhone in my life.

Only twice have I struggled with the phone in the past year. First time was when the new operating system was released. It would seem that just like phones, Apple is never happy to let a good thing sit. Instead, they are always tweaking the next version that will have eye-opening freshness for all to enjoy. Problem is that when the system is forced on us, we all turn into guinea pigs to find all the bugs that the programmers didn't catch. And there were A LOT of them. I avoided the upgrade for as long as possible and truth be told I barely even remember the old system now. But I do remember the frustration from the interim.

And then there was the "lock" button this week, or as I put it in my service request "the button at the top of the phone". This one is specifically to turn your screen off or on, and serves no other purpose (unless you are taking a screen shot). Well, I learned that while my Otterbox is the greatest thing ever for protecting my phone (and their warranty service/response is excellent!), the soft silicone case button has a tendency to wear down the iPhone lock button spring unevenly. Eventually it gets stuck and then you have to put in a work-around for turning your screen off. Luckily for me, my phone was still under the 1 year warranty, and a 30-minute visit to the Apple store later yielded a new phone. With an Otterbox on the phone, there are very few questions on your care of the piece and it expedited my trip to the back of the store. Only hang up was that since I hadn't embraced the iCloud backup system, I had to restore my phone at home. If there is one thing in business that I still value and appreciate, it is customer service on warranties. Sure, Apple is gimmicky and self-obsessed with their own creativity. And ownership of an iPhone classes me with both the ignorant and the hipsters in an uncomfortable categorization, but I would do it all again for the ease of use and the company service.

The only other thing that I did this week was finally bottle the bourbon barrel lager that I made months ago and then stored into a bourbon barrel that a friend left at our house when he and his wife moved to Belgium. The barrel experience elevates my brewing to a new level, and I am so excited to taste this beer soon. Nothing is more American than bourbon, and bourbon beer seemed only appropriately capped with an American flag bottlecap. Color is almost red with a bit of caramel, and the beer when I bottled it seemed to have a slightly greater viscosity than previous batches. I'm not sure if that is inherited from the barrel, or if it was imagined. As a scientist, if I can't quantify something then I usually suspect that I am imagining the difference. Unfortunately, beer brewing is not something I have the time to replicate in blind studies. Maybe some day I can run a brewery and really apply some sharp wit to perfecting some batches.

As we enter into "Beat Michigan Week" here on campus, I partook in something a bit unique - a spinning class to the scenery of SR 23 on the drive to Ann Arbor from C-bus. Spinning is not nearly as difficult as I expected it to be from all the rants by friends who have done it. I broke a solid sweat, but after not riding for months and drinking my weight this fall I would have expected far worse. I got a free t-shirt out of the deal, but I'm not sure it's something I would do again by myself. It is pretty boring when you don't have someone to chat at, especially with so many people just hunched over their bikes. It did put me in the mood to beat that school up North, one of the institutions that represents the elitism, prejudice again the working class and condescension towards agriculture that I will be fighting my whole life. It is more than a 200-year-old war over the Maumee River to me, it is personal. Luckily for me, I get to celebrate beat Michigan weeks twice as often since I am both a Spartan and a Buckeye.