Week 38 - Labor

For those of you who have followed this blog over the past few months, you have to know that we are getting pretty close to my wife's due date for our first child! And yes, it has finally happened. No, not the birth, but instead the video to learn about it. Beware all of you future parents out there (not just future dads), beware, this is a series of hours of your life that can never erase. But since I'm really a big fan of the effective list, let's enumerate the take-homes from the past week's hospital tour, birthing class and associated medical interactions.

1) Our hospital is a CF. Sure, it's recognized as one of the baby hospitals in town and really a great place, but let's be honest... it's under construction, more confusing than Starbuck's menu, and set right into the middle of the worst traffic nightmare in town. I just know she's going to go into labor while I'm at work and she's on the opposite side of the Israelite Exodus crossing the Red Sea (or known as the mass chaos of C-bus rush-hours). But we're going there because it's the only place the doctor goes. Simple as that.

2) I will be an above average dad. How do I know this? Because I met another 20 future dads over the past week and I'm not a chain smoker, wannabe Marine, pants-sagger, junk-food eater, hypocrit, know-it-all, d-bag, wish-I-were academic, "medical professional", obnoxious post-MBA or rich snob. And truth be told, I'm sure their kids will turn out great too, for the most part.

3) I'm slightly terrified of the birthing process. For some reason, I had it in my head that this would be a few hours of pain and sorrow followed quickly by crying baby, exclamation of "It's a (insert gender)!", and loving moments as a proud new family before we were overrun by friends and relatives (no, they're not the same). After sitting through the class, I've realized that this process is not just a few hours of torture for the mother, but living hell for everyone involved during what could be a 24+ hours process (like an Orthodox holiday for the Protestant boyfriend). I'm sure that we will make it through all of this, but for my wife's sake, I hope it goes smoother than some of the videos that were shared with us in class. Some day I will be reminding an obstinate a-hole what their mother did for them, and they won't believe me. For all you out there, thank your mom.

4) There is money to be made if you are willing to be filmed pregnant, naked and screaming - even if you're not a teenager looking for reality gigs. I can't imagine being one of the couples that was roped into the filming, but there is no amount of money that would convince me to allow my wife to sign away her self-decency for the rest of her life. This is a special moment, where the struggle makes the victory so much sweeter, and we won't be sharing it with anyone.

5) Sneaking beer into the hospital for my wife is going to be more difficult and less intelligent than I thought. Once you start realizing how many drugs could be coursing through her veins and how often you will be intruded on by a nurse checking in, you have a severe gut check about that promise you made 6 months ago when you were trying to make her feel better about missing the Christmas toasts. But I'll do anything for you, Dearest, if you really want it.

6) Valet parking is a nice thing for the hospital to do when you're bring them thousands of dollars in business and giving them a purpose for existing. Good call, guys. But then why didn't you want to allow us to leave it there until we check out. Seriously, I have to move my car within 24 hours? And what if I don't?

7) Best part of the whole labor class was the relaxation part. Learning different methods to help my wife feel better both during labor and at home when her back hurts so bad - that was rewarding. I often feel like a helpless bystander as the growing baby tears her apart. I want to help, but don't know how and nothing that I do seems to help. This was worth the time and in-person instruction, and only this.

8) I have been rubbing my wife's back all wrong. When we first arrived, they asked us to have our backs rubbed by the mothers. My wife got back there and showed me how she would like me to rub her back and it was considerably different than what other people have told me to do in the past, and different from what she has accepted from me, too. If only I'd known sooner.

My wife holding 2 market lambs (each about 85 lbs.) while 7 1/2 mths pregnant.

My wife and I are supporting a 4-Her this year in her pursuit of a new experience. So this past week we went over and helped her pick out a 4-H lamb to raise and show. She doesn't come from a farm background at all, but she was a very quick learner as we caught the lambs and helped her choose the one which would be best (heavy boned, fast growing, good muscle). As I elaborated in my last post, I'm so grateful for the people who helped me have these experiences, and even though I don't expect every kid to turn all agriculturalist, it's still great to be able to give others the same opportunities for learning that we had.

We looked pretty ghetto counting out our fundraiser money.

In other news, our annual fundraising event as a grad student organization was this week, Friday and Saturday. Rained out heavily on Friday, we ended up cleaning up and preparing for Saturday, sopping wet in the building's loading dock. Not sure how the end of the money came out, but we broke even for the weekend on the first day. This money goes towards our undergrad field trip opportunities that we host.

New diverter for sampling.

On the work front, I was struck with an epiphany not too long ago as I was rebuilding the pumps from a nitro-glycerin kit we had stockpiled. The septum diverter in that kit was a perfect replacement for the current set-up and with a little bit of plastic tubing downsizing, the diverter is now set in place on our fermenters, enabling me to complete my design for real-time VFA and H2(aq) sampling. It's game on, folks.



Finally, I learned a life lesson this week about coconuts. Don't eat them fresh - they're disgusting. I now know I would never survive on that island with Gilligan. I love breaking them open, but the taste was much chalkier and more sour than I expected. I'm not even sure I would make booze with them.

Breaking it was fun. Tossing away representation of wasted money was not.